Scroll down for answers . . .
1. What is the name of the Lone Ranger's horse?
2. What is PBS?
3. What do you call a chicken dance?
4. Why was the fisherman
having trouble fishing?
5. Why did the duck cross the road?
6. What do you call a flower that smokes marijuana?
7. What
did the fielder's mitt say to the baseball?
8. What did the lizard say
when he got hungry?
9. Why did the astronaut fall to Earth?
10. Why does the Sphinx have a flat nose?
11. Why was the little worm crying?
12. What did Julius Caesar say when Brutus stabbed him?
13. What did
the picture say to the wall?
14. What did Sherlock Holmes say to Dr. Watson who
had constipation?
15. What did one outlaw Yo-Yo say to the other?
16. What happens if you cross Lawrence Welk with an invisible rabbi?.
17.
How do you catch a unique rabbit?
18. What did the fish say when he hit a
concrete wall?
19. How do you top a car?
20.
Why was the golf ball so mad?
21. Why are morticians always so somber?
22.
Why was the old owl so sad?
23. Why did the little bee want to join the FBI?
24.
Why did the Judge disallow the rabbit's testimony?
25. What do Johnny Cash
and Daffy Duck have in common?
26. Home come gold and silver have such good memories?
27.
If an athlete gets athlete's foot, what does an astronaut get?
28. Why was the
little pig crying?
29. Why was the barber worried?
30.
What's the difference between an Islamic holy war and a Hillbilly feud?
31.
Where do rabbits like to dance?
32. What is the difference between an elephant
and a jar of peanut butter?
33. What did the little engine say when he came
out of the roundhouse?
34. Did George Washington actually throw a dollar
across the Potomac River?
35. Where have all the flowers gone?
36.
How do cattle breed?
37. What did the WWI pilot say when asked if he was
the one who shot down the Red Baron?
38. How come George Washington's father
didn't whip him when he said he was the one who chopped down the cherry tree?
39.
What is a tornado's favorite food?
40. What is a fishing worm's favorite song?
41. What happened to Samson when he tried to make time with Delilah?
42.
What did one graveyard worker say to the other?
43. What is the favorite
Sonny & Cher song of sheep.
44. What did the rectangle say to the triangle
when he started to walk into the next equation?
45. What does a
ghost do when he gets hungry?
46. What did Tarzan say to Jane when he got
home?
47. What do you call a person who walks into a French river?
48.
What do you call a wooden rooster's son?
49. Why was the pants presser at the dry
cleaner's feeling down?
50. How do Viking wives treat their husbands like Greek gods
51.
What happens to a cucumber when it drinks too much alcohol?
52. What do you
call the mother of all tidal waves?
53. What did the bombardier say before he went
out on a bombing mission?
54. What do you do for ringing in the ears?
55.
What is a stolen breakfast item called?
56. What do you get when you cross a famous
Swedish singing group with a comedian?
57. What is a DVD?
58.
Concerning the "Wizard of Id" comic strip, what is the Spook's favorite song?
59. What
did the rhinoceros say when he saw the other jungle animals having a party?
60.
Who are the three "B's" of music?
61. What is a fish's favorite song?
62.
What made Thomas Jefferson mad?
63. What did the Postal worker say when a guy from
Czechoslovakia fell into a pile of letters?
64. What happens when you cross Peter
Pan's nemesis with a big jungle cat and a skunk?
65. How come insurance companies refuse
to write policies for frogs?
66. What's the difference between Robin Hood and a
politician?
67. What would you have if the daughter of a famous POP's orchestra conductor
married the son of a famous movie star known for his roles in "Tarzan", "Flash Gordon" and Western movies?
68.
Why was the banana released from jail.
69. What is the best way to mail a cat"
70. Is it possible to communicate with the dead?
71. Why should you not discuss
roosters or cows with farmers?
72. If several Hollywood celebrities parachuted
down on Birmingham, what would people say?
73. What do you call a person who keeps on
talking, though no one is interested in what he is saying?
74. What were the results
of the Great Vegetable Race?
75. What is an illegal Mexican's theme song?
76.
Who is a cut-up at every party?
77. What do you call a hairy guy who picks on others?
78.
What should you do when surrounded by Leprechauns?
79. How can you tell if a lawyer
is from Wisconsin?
80. Why did the little rabbit inherit his father's burrow?
81.
What did the Indians say when the Pilgrams landed at Plymouth Rock?
82. What did the
turtle say to the police when he got mugged by snails?
83. What's the difference
between what an honest person likes to hear compared to what a prisoner likes to hear?
84.
Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
85. What do you call a happy fowl?
86. What do you call a man who repairs shoes?
87. What Western movie do fish
like the most?
88. Why did all the animals in the forest love Bambi?
89.
What do you call a gander who likes to be alone?
90. What TV game show do fish
like the most?
91. What caused the doctor to become angry?
92. What's the difference between a sailor and a shepherd?
93. How come mountains
don't like gold and silver?
94. What's the difference between a dreamer and someone
on marijuana?
95. Why don't students like taking field trips to soft drink factories?
96.
What do you call pictures of nude cats?
97. What do you call 100 Centaurs?
98.
What do you do if your TV isn't working?
99. What is a Greek's favorite nursery
rhyme?
100. What is an astronaut's favorite breakfast?
101.
What is a cat's favorite car?
102. What did the hen say to the rooster?
103.
In reference to Middle Earth, where do Orcs live?
104. What kind of outfit does an attorney
wear to a courtroom?
105. What did little David say to the Philistines when he hurled
a stone between the eyes of Goliath?
106. What did the cowboy say after the cattle stampede?
107.
What do killer whales wash their heads with?
108. Why were early Patriots called "Minutemen"?
109.
What did mrs. Noah say to her daughter-in-law when she saw Ham, Shem and Japheth bringing all the animals into the Ark?
110.
Why don't Zombies ever go after politicians?
111. What is purple and conquered the World?
112.
What is it called when certain black and white bears go nuts?
113. In what way is a watchmaker
the same as a prison?
114. What do you call a bird of prey who goes to a museum?
115.
Why did Captain Ahab seek revenge on Moby Dick?
116. Why didn't the early pioneers bother to
clean buffalo, cattle and horse piles?
117. What did the wallpaper say to the wall?
118.
What do you get when you cross a famous singer with an Indonesian island?
119. What do Simon
of "America's Got Talent" and Batman have in common?
120. What happened to the hen who laid
a record number of eggs
121. Why did the cowboy tie a rabbit's foot to his gun?
122.
How come sharks to bite politicians?
123. What do you call a piece of plumage from an old bird?
124.
What do you call a plumber who activates several toilets at the same time?
125. What is a hot
dog's favorite TV show?
126. What do you call it when a laughing animal takes a vacation?
127.
What cowboy movie star is the favorite among owls?
128. What famous reptile wrote several classical
songs?
129. What did the printing press say to the font?
130.
Who was the first pole dancer?
131. What do you call someone who puts clothes on a rabbit?
132.
What's the difference between a hair joint and a beer joint.
133. What do you get when you
cross a 007 movie star with a machine that cuts grass?
134. What's the best tune in the World?
135.
What do you call it when a group of whales start broadcasting over the air?
136. Who is the
person who saved the coffee industry in WWI?
137. Can you name a car that starts with a "P"?
138.
Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
139. Why is it always so hard to get along
with chickens?
140. What happens when you travel through Arkansas, Missouri, Oklahoma and Kansas?
141.
What do you call a group of rabbits who hop backward?
142. What happens when you cross a TV
alien with a California town?
143. What do you get when you cross a famous songwriter
with a luncheon item?
144. What did one graveyard worker say to the other?
145.
How come the frog was laying sprawled along the log?
146. What is a rodent's favorite car?
147.
What do you get when you cross a fleet of ships with a barbarian?
148. How come they have no
phone books in China?
149. How come they don't send donkeys to school?
150.
What do you call a nice bird?
151. What do you call a man who has two hogs?
152.
What did the diner say to the waitress at a seafood place when he was served a Clown fish.
153.
Who is the only vegetable ever to win a movie Oscar?
1. Hi-Yo. His last name was Silver. At the beginning of the Lone Ranger TV show, it sounds like the announcer
is saying, "Hi-Oh".
2. Something that women get every month that makes them
cranky.
3. A fowl ball.
4.
He was herring impaired
5. The chicken was called to active duty.
6. A potted plant.
7. "Catch you later!"
8. "Iguana (long I sound) go out and get something to eat."
9. He
didn't understand the gravity of the situation.
10. He chased parked cars.
11.
He didn't have any wiggle room.
12. "OUCH!"
13.
"First they framed me and then they hung me."
14. "Alimentary, my dear Watson.
Alimentary."
15. "If the posse catches us, they're going to string us up!"
16.
You get a Pooka Polka.
17. Unique up on it.
18.
"Dam!"
19. Tep on the brake, tupid!
20.
Somebody teed him off.
21. They have to deal with grave situations.
22. Because the young owls didn't give a hoot.
23. He wanted to go out on sting
operations.
24. Because it was haresay.
25.
They both wear black.
26. Because an element never forgets.
27. Missiletoe.
28. Because his father was in the pen.
29.
Because he found himself in a hairy situation.
30. One is a Jihad (Yihad) and the
other is a: "Yee-Haah!"
31. At the Hop.
32.
The elephant doesn't stick to the roof of your mouth.
33. "Well, I'll be switched!"
34.
Yes, but it must be remembered that a dollar went a lot further back then.
35.
Weddings, Valentine's Day and funerals.
36. Through their noses.
37. "I shot the Baron, but I didn't shoot the deputy."
38. Because George still
had the axe in his hand.
39. Funnel cake.
40.
"Baby, baby, don't get hooked on me."
41. She cleaned his clock.
42. "Dig you later, man!"
43. "The Bleat Goes On."
44. "Watch out! It might be a trapezoid!"
45. He goes out and scares something
up to eat.
46. "Boy! It's a jungle out there!"
47.
He goes insane (in Seine).
48. A cheep off the old block.
49. It was a slack season.
50. They serve them burnt offerings.
51. He gets pickled.
52. A tsunami mommy.
53.
"Does neatness count?"
54. Answer the phone.
55.
A poached egg.
56. ABBA & Costello.
57. "DAVID"
without the vowels.
58. "In the Swill of the Night".
59.
"Mind if I horn in?"
60. Bobby Darrin, Bobby Rydell and Bobby Vee.
61.
"I lobster, then I flounder".
62. Somebody put a Burr under his saddle.
63. The Czech is in the mail.
64. You get Hook, lion and stinker.
65. They're always croaking.
66. Robin Hood took from the rich and gave to the
poor, while politicians take from the poor and give to the rich.
67. A Fiedler
Crabbe.
68. He got out on a peel (appeal).
69.
Parcel Puss.
70. Yes. Just write a letter to your Congressman.
71. Because they get tired of hearing the same old, "Cock N' Bull" stories.
72.
"The Stars fell on Alabama Last Night".
73. A politician.
74. The lettuce came out ahead. The tomato tried, but couldn't ketchup. All of the root vegetables were accounted for
except one, but they figured he'd turnip sooner or later.
75. "Waltz Across Texas".
76. Mack the Knife.
77. A woolly bully.
78.
Don't sweat the small stuff.
79. He badgers the witness.
80. He was the hare-apparent.
81. "Well, there goes the neighborhood!"
82. "Shucks, fellas! It all happened so fast, I can't remember anything!"
83.
An honest citizen wants to hear, "You've got mail", while a prisoner wants to hear, "Your out of jail".
84. Samson. He brought the house down.
85. A perky turkey.
86. A sole man.
87. Butch Bassidy and the Sundance Squid.
88. He was such a deer friend.
89. A recluse goose.
90. Whale of Fortune.
91. He lost his patients.
92. A sailor waits for his ship to come in while a shepherd waits for his sheep to come in.
93. Because they're always getting the shaft.
94. One has high hopes while the
other has hopes of getting high.
95. They're afraid they might have a pop quiz.
96. Purr-nography.
97. A dollartaur.
98.
Send it to the unemployment office to find a job.
99. "Mary had a little lamda".
100.
Biscuits and gravity.
101. A Furr-ari.
102. "Don't get
cocky!"
103. Orclahoma.
104. A law suit.
105.
"If you think that's something, you should see my spitter!"
106. "It was udder chaos!"
107
Shamu shampoo.
108. Because when Paul yelled, "The British are coming!", they said, "Be with
you in a minute."
109. "Okay, girls! Start spreading newspapers!"
110.
Because they don't have any brains to eat.
111. Alexander the Grape.
112.
Pandemonium.
113. They're both doing time.
114. A culture vulture.
115.
Because Moby flipped him the fin.
116. Because what happens on the Prarie, stays on the Prarie.
117.
"Mind if I stick around for a while."
118. Frank Sumatra.
119.
They both have cowls.
120. She got a standing ovulation.
121.
He wanted a hare trigger?
122. Professional courtesy?
123. Grandfeather.
124.
A "four-flusher".
125. "I Dream of Weenie".
126. A hyena hiatus.
127.
Hoot Gibson.
128. Snakespeare.
129. Sorry, but you're not my
type.
130. Fred Astaire. Come on guys! Remember when he danced with that hat stand.
131.
A hare dresser.
132. One's a "salon" and the other is a "saloon".
133.
A Roger mower.
134. Oppor-tune-ity.
135. A podcast (whales travel
in pods).
136. Lawrence of Arabica.
137. Whatever you said,
you are wrong. All cars start with gas.
138. At the bottom.
139.
Because they're always in a fowl mood.
140. You run AMOK.
141.
A receding hare line.
142. Mork and Mendicino.
143. A hoagy
sandwich.
144. "Dig you later!"
145. He was all croaked out.
146.
A Mouserati.
147. Flotilla the Hun.
148. Because they're so
many Wings and Wongs, they're afraid someone might wing the wong number.
149. Because nobody
likes a smart ass.
150. A pleasant pheasant.
151. A pigamist.
152.
"This fish tastes funny."
153. Lana Turnip.
