Back in the 1970's I studied Ju Jitsu, Karate and Kung Fu from friends, Terry Stanton and John Newton. I took it for physical conditioning, self-defense and to be perfectly honest about it, I thought I could be a Martial Arts movie star like Bruce Lee. After being thrown to the mat about a gazillion times, I decided that perhaps I'd be better off finding another occupation. Besides that, I had trouble with weapons. I wanted to swing the nunchuks around like Bruce. So, I got me a good pair, which I still have today. I could have been one of the all-time greatest nunchukers, or whatever the term is, except my kidneys and the back of my head kept getting in the way. You see, when swinging the weapon around, I always managed to hit the back of my head or my lower back. So, I got a pair of plastic nunchuks. It didn't help, because while they may not hit as hard, they still sting pretty good. I studied for about 3 years. I never was that good, but I wasn't too bad. In all reality, I couldn't take on a gang of street bullies like Chuck Norris, Steven Seagal or that Van Damme kid could. But, I do believe I could take care of a bunch of Girl Scout Brownies if they started messing with me. Actually, I am a peaceful person by nature. I've always found it better to avoid a fight. I've walked away from many a situation in which people thought I was a coward. That's okay with me. There's too many hot shots  with injuries and/or laying in a grave somewhere because they either wanted to prove how tough they were or they were afraid someone might call them "chicken". A man never truly knows what he's going to do in a certain situation until he actually faces it. The Bible says there's a time for war and there's a time for peace. It's a wise man who knows the difference.

 

Being a fun-loving guy, in 1978, I spent all Summer perfecting my spoof on the Martial Arts known as "LUNG FU". By the way, there really is a Martial Art by the name of Lung Fu. Me as "Tu Lung Tonee" (pronounced Tony), my brother as "Henry the K", "John Newton" and on of his daughters and Charles Bartlett, who took the photographs, got together one day and came up with a photo layout that I could use for magazines. Special thanks to Frank Trapp who loaned me the yellow bedspread I used as Tu Lung Tonee's ceremonial outfit. Also, to the manufacturers of the Louisville Slugger, who provided my weaponry. I sent "Lung Fu" to all of the peoole who edited Karate magazines at that time. The Editors of "Official Karate" magazine in New york, were the only ones who though it funny enough to publish it in their magazine. A lot of comedy seen in the movies, on TV, in TV commercials and comic strips was taken from material that I had come up with, although I never got credit or compensation for the ideas. From what I understand, there's other people claiming that they wrote this spoof and at least one person is pretending to be me. I copyrighted this work with "The National Library of Congress". A few years ago I contacted the FBI to help me out in the matter since copyright violations are a Federal offense. However, a few days later, the Muslims hit New York City, an event which has now become known as "9-11". I was told that the Federal authorities did not have the resources or manpower to help me out. I was a little upset, because I had a good lead on who was casuing the problem. However, the authorities have to devote their resources to the most important and pressing problems.  There is a GOD and someday I will get the recognition and compensation I deserve. For that matter, all who love Him, will.  My work is worth millions and I have no intention of ending up like so many famous artists and writers in history who, although their work became famous and worth a lot of money, they died penniless. In the meantime, enjoy the spoof. And remember, I  have upheld the Nor'easter brand of humor which has never been equaled. Look, you have to believe you're the best. Mediocrity never leads to greatness.

 

I must admit that sometimes my humor can be so weird that it defies description. I like to laugh and I like to make others laugh. I do want to make one thing clear. The stuff I come up with is not done with the idea of defaming or hurting anyone. If you've read my short  biography, you can see that I poke fun at myself and my shortcomings more than anyone else.

 

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